My predictions about the iPad 3/iPad HD event and subsequent coverage:

  • The new iPad will, objectively, be a decent upgrade regardless of what Apple adds to it.
  • Immediate coverage will be mostly subjective, based in part on what Apple ‘left out’, despite never giving any indication such things were going to be added anyway.
  • Apple will be slammed in the press for not including features that were dreamed up by hacks misinterpreting a single invite and trying to get hits with IPAD 3 CONFIRMED TO WARP SCREEN JUST LIKE T1000 headlines.
  • A few sensible people will note that the update looks “pretty good actually”.
  • Said people will be slammed as Apple fan-boys.
  • The tech press will spew out a vomit of articles, explaining that the new iPad will be a sales disaster and 2012 will now be the year of the Android tablet.
  • The new iPad will not be a sales disaster.
  • 2012 won’t be the year of the Android tablet.
  • 2013 will then roll around and we can all repeat the same bullshit yet again. HURRAH!