IT World Canada might be rethinking its whole guest blog thing after running 10 solid reasons RIM will make a comeback, which would have been more accurately entitled ‘Dear Santa: please can you this Christmas send me a box of MAGIC UNICORNS that I can forward to RIM, to help make the company relevant once again’.

The list itself is a great mix of delusion and outright bonkers, and before that author Tim Collins helpfully notes:

It’s not just wishful thinking.

Precisely in the same way this is not a blog post dripped in sarcasm.

1) Developers believe in BB10. RIM has a knack for motivating some of the most brilliant minds on the planet. I personally know several developers who are still working for RIM and who are not the least bit interested in jumping ship.

We all know several developers will be enough. The App Store and Google Play are clearly going to be doomed as the several developers who still give a crap about RIM fire amazing apps out of their brains.

2) Teenagers and messaging. It’s still the best messaging device bar none (this is why teenagers still carry Blackberrys–a pretty important demographic).

Fortunately, the iPhone isn’t increasingly becoming the choice for the teen demographic.

3) RIM has always had the best keyboard. My bet is that the genius engineers at RIM are going to have the best touchscreen keyboard on the market.

Just because. That’s always the best argument. Not: I’ve tried this and it was great. That’s far too sensible. I also love the assertion that because RIM once had the best hardware keyboard on mobile, that will translate right across to the best touchscreen, just because (again). Also, don’t many of those RIM holdouts moan that other systems suck precisely because they lack a hardware keyboard?

4) They smell the coffee. Thorsten Heins has woken up RIM from their dreams of past glory. Now they are facing reality and Heins promises big changes.

Thorsten Heins? Gil Amelio!

 5) Licensing. The BB10 operating system is being licensed for other hardware like Microsoft Windows Phone 8.

That plan’s currently working out so great for Windows Phone.

6) Cash flow + growing existing user base. They still have $2 billion in cash and a user base of 80 million that grew by 2 million last quarter.

Luckily, RIM isn’t haemorrhaging money hand over fist, for example by losing $235m in the past quarter.

7) They dominate the high-security niche market. RIM is famous for the security of its smartphones. That’s one reason they dominated the corporate market before BYOD hit the fan. It’s still the go-to device for most governments around the world.

Still the go-to device for governments! *ignores bit about corporates binning RIM as fast as possible*

8) Leaked specs.

Sorry? I thought you said ‘leaked specs’ for a moment there.

8) Leaked specs.

Oh. Sigh.

According to leaked BB10 specs reported by the Droid Guy, “RIM would be releasing smartphones that would pose a threat to Samsung Galaxy S3, HTC One X and even iPhone 5. If the recent leaks were legit, RIM might be back with a vengeance. BlackBerry 10 A-Series may also be the Canadian company’s key to reclaiming its position in the market where it has dominated before.”

Because as we all know, a specs list is the only thing that matters in mobile. “We’ve got a 987-core phone running at a billion magigahertz!” “Great, but what apps are available for it?” “A billion magigahertz!”

9) Incremental Improvements are boring. The last iPhone had only incremental improvements. The top two smartphones look more and more alike with every new release. If BB10 can offer us something new that we always wanted but never thought was possible, we’ll buy it.

That plan’s currently working out so great for Windows Phone. Also, people like familiarity. Start out with something great and make it better. Pundits calling the iPhone boring simply don’t understand how most consumers think. Mind you, that’s why they’re writing crap for tech blogs and being wrong all the time when it comes to sales forecasts and the like.

10) The competition is distracted. Samsung and Apple are embroiled in legal battles that won’t end any time soon. Now Apple is going to battle with Google. This is going to be very distracting for them while their competitors RIM, Microsoft and Noikia come back to fight another day.

This point’s fair enough, because Apple and Google each only have one employee, and if that person is distracted in court, there’s no way they’ll be able to work on the next iPhone or Android device.

So, yeah: I’M CONVINCED!