Friday 23 June, 2016. The votes all counted, the UK has decided to remain part of the EU. 17,410,742 – 51.89 per cent – ticked that particular box, with 16,141,241 (48.11 per cent) against.

Prime Minster David Cameron’s cabinet reshuffle promotes heavily pro-EU Conservatives into senior positions. Pro-Brexit ministers resign before they are pushed. Over coming weeks, the new position of the UK becomes clear. The government announces immediate plans to join the Euro, thereby dropping Sterling. Immense pressure is placed on the EU by the British to instigate a federal system, akin to the United States of Europe. The UK also immediately barges its way into the Schengen Area, eliminating border controls with the rest of the EEA.

Of course, this is all bollocks, because this would never have happened. It’s the most extreme flavour of Remain, rather than the status quo, or, more likely, the UK using a narrow victory as a means to extract further concessions from the EU. And yet extreme Leave is now what the British seem to be heading for. This makes no more sense than extreme Remain, and yet we’re increasingly told that’s what we all voted for. Presumably all the ballots had an extra page no-one thought to attach.