I have an induction hob in my kitchen. The second seemingly a single drop of water ends up on its controls, the thing emits an ear-piercing beep. This means when I’m cleaning the thing, it helpfully deafens me until the point it’s dry again. Presumably, the ‘feature’ is designed to help should its owner be furiously tapping out angry blog posts while the spaghetti boils over. In reality, it’s just another example of a notification convention that’s becoming ubiquitous – and that someone needs to take out back and shoot.

Beeps are bloody everywhere. You turn on a piece of electronics. BEEP! You turn it off. BEEP! You change a setting. BEEP! On the telly and in movies, it’s become shorthand for “I just did something on a computer” – from Tony Stark working with cutting edge technology to a detective somehow transferring files from a computer to a USB stick by holding it limply near to a display. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

In both cases, it’s lazy. On the telly, better direction or an actual range of sound effects could get across the fact someone has performed an action much more easily without resorting to shrill beeps every single time. As for in the home, companies need to start providing options to turn these hideous noises off. Because the more of these things that assault my ears, I just want to throw the designers into the *beeping* sea.