The entire Mac press is all excited about a new Apple product that hasn’t been revealed by Apple, but has been sneakily unveiled by unnamed sources talking to a publication with a poor track record regarding Apple rumours.

Apple will launch their new Apple TV in time for the last quarter of 2012, with sources in Japan telling SmartHouse that 3 sizes are being planned including a 32″ model and a 55″ model.

That of course makes perfect sense, given that Apple makes a 3.5-inch, 4-inch and 5-inch iPhone, along with a 7-inch, 10-inch and 13-inch iPad, right? Oh. And, as Adam Banks noted on Twitter:

Yeah, and how Apple, a computer company, makes only one computer monitor, but obviously would make 3 TVs

Also, Apple loves entering markets with slow device turnover and that scrap it out in price wars, as evidenced by the _____, _____ and ______. Therefore, like the aforelinked publication, I have no doubt whatsoever that Apple will next year offer the iTV in small unicorn, medium unicorn and MEGA UNICORN sizes, for three times the price of a competing TV, kick UK broadcaster ITV in the face, and not, in fact, continue sneakily working its way into the living room through revisions to the existing Apple TV and iCloud (as an affordable but surprisingly powerful media hub, games console, and rental service), because that would be a totally stupid suggestion.

UNICORNS ALL THE WAY!