New RIM CEO Thorsten Heins has a video on YouTube. And it’s, um… interesting. It comes across a little like a hostage video combined with a dollop of delusional, and although there are some fair statements lurking, there’s also quite a lot of PR disaster.

I joined this company four years ago, and it was growing but comparably it was still small in the wireless arena, as a player. We have taken this to totally new heights…

This is true. The now-booted co-CEOs really have taken being “comparably small in the wireless arena” to new heights by turning RIM from a leader in the field into a marginal player.

If we continue doing well what we’re doing…

If we continue doing bad things well…

I see no problems with us being in the top three players worldwide […] in wireless.

We might just be able to fend off Microsoft!

At the very core of RIM […] is the innovation. I mean, we always think forward.

Notice how we managed to easily defeat those upstarts iOS and Android!

We sometimes think the unthinkable […] We’ve learned to execute.

NOW WE FIND THE TRUTH BEHIND THE EX CO-CEOS! (That might possibly be a selective quote above.)

Unfortunately, your correspondent fell asleep at this point, due to Heins’s relentless monotone, and so we have to guess as to the remainder of the video’s content. It probably went something like this:

Blah blah marketing blah blah blah better consumer products blah blah need to be better blah already brilliant blah blah blah we are the future blah blah we are unique blah blah we will be back blah BlackBerry is great blah blah innovation blah blah blah focus blah blah quality blah blah THUD.

Also, remember that awful and dull seven-minute Tim Cook video when he took over the CEO role at Apple? No, me neither.