I’m a retrogamer at heart. Although I do now and again enjoy modern games, most of those that bite are old-fashioned in many ways. This is probably why I’m such a big fan of iOS as a gaming platform—it’s like the 1980s all over again (low prices, tons of novelty in games, individuals putting out what they want to rather than what focus groups ask for).

However, it’s interesting to see that ticking all the boxes isn’t always enough. A case in point is Earth Defender, a 59p game I downloaded for almost certain inclusion in an article I’m currently writing about cheapo iPod games. The grabs on the game’s App Store page looked great—screens full of swooping neon ships. The gameplay looked like it mashed together Missile Command and Galaxian. What could go wrong?

Plenty, as it turns out. Earth Defender isn’t bad, but it’s also not great. The levels are too long and become a little tedious. And the game’s far too easy—I would have completed it on my first go had the game not erased my supposedly saved game. As it was, I completed it the first time I seriously tried to.

The irony is that Earth Defender therefore, despite being a retro title at heart, ends up being more like modern titles I dislike: dull and repetitive but inoffensive gameplay, with a layer of gloss overlaid.

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