• Macworld 2009 keynote summary via Twitter, to stop me bitching about stuff at length when I should be working on something else… #
• iLife ’09: iPhoto face recognition (oooh), geotagging and Flickr/Facebook stuff (about time); better iMovie controls (yay); GB lessons (ugh) #
• iWork ’09: Keynote transitions/vertical orientation; better Numbers formulas and charts; Pages outlines and full-screen mode #
• Incidentally, WriteRoom and Scrivener have full-screen views that knock Pages ’09 out of the park, past the car-park and down the street. #
• Mac Box Set bundles Leopard, iLife and iWork for $169. UK price: £149. I know Sterling’s getting a kicking, but that’s absurd. Bad Apple. #
• iWork.com beta for online iWork ’09 apps. Plays nice with Google Documents, which is just as well. Hopefully this won’t suck like MobileMe. #
• 17″ MacBook Pro. Includes matte screen option. LED Cinema Display doesn’t. Clearly, Apple hates pros, despite what Phil says. #
• iTunes to be DRM-free and have tiered pricing. Just feel the innovation! No, wait. Just feel the way Apple finally got screwed by the labels #
• And that’s it for ever, since Apple’s quitting Macworld. Overall: C+. The new apps look good, but iTunes being saved until last… bleh. #

Although the reports of Macworld’s might be spot-on

Once again, the sky is falling in Apple-land. The Cupertino giant’s announcement yesterday that Macworld Expo 2009 would be its last and that Phil Schiller would deliver the final keynote rather than Steve Jobs sent the rumour mill into a frenzy. Clearly, Steve must be at death’s door, right?

Alternatively, rumour-mongers, think about it for just a second, using your brain. Apple is quitting the Macworld Expo, but not its own (increasingly frequent) announcements and launch events. It’s not prepping for Steve Jobs’ death—it’s prepping for Macworld’s, and in a fairly spiteful manner. Consider this: Jobs doesn’t do this keynote, thereby massively lowering expectations and downplaying the event. You can bet he’ll be fronting the next ‘Apple keynote’, though.

Game turns child into evil swearing little shitbag

As part of its long-standing quest to vilify every videogame ever produced (in fact, everything fun ever created), righteous hatemonger ‘newspaper’ the Daily Mail earlier this week published a story about a mother’s fury over a Nintendo DS Scrabble game that taught her son “vile swear words”. (And in the Daily Mail’s usual sterling reporting, it’s amusing to note that the game in question is Scrabble 2007—there’s nothing like getting the scoop on a new product, and this article is nothing like getting a scoop on a new product.)

Of course, it’s implausible that Mrs Carrington’s eight-year-old could have discovered these words by any other means. Although it’s not mentioned in the article, it’s safe to assume that he’ll now need life-long counselling having been exposed to ‘toke’, ‘tits’ and ‘shit’. (Choice quote: “Shit had come up as well. I was absolutely mortified.” I’ll bet. You don’t want shit coming up when you’re playing a videogame—it can really knock you off your stride.)

Following Britain’s typical dive into knee-jerk reactionism, the mother has now banned her son from playing the virtual wordgame, which has been linked to people becoming slightly more educated, and is therefore reprehensible and evil. Publisher Ubisoft’s response about the ‘junior’ option that removes naughty words was met by a typically Daily Mail-style retort from Carrington: “I read the booklet that came with it, and there was no mention of a junior version. It should be made much clearer.” This is fair enough—after all, it’s really hard to spot the ‘Junior mode’ checkbox that’s directly under the player’s name when you’re picking a profile on first launching the game.

Translation: “I can’t be arsed to play real Scrabble with my son, so I threw this game at him, without actually bothering to in any way check it first. And now my little baby is surrounded by tits and shit, and the only way to deal with this is to get those true bastions of public decency and morality involved—the Daily Mail”.

My opinion: it’s a fucking disgrace. (Now, had she moaned at length about Scrabble 2007’s lack of single-console multiplayer support, I’d have been right behind her. IN A NON-OFFENSIVE MANNER.)

Although Internet Explorer’s marketshare slide isn’t proving steep, it almost seems irreversible at this point. Latest trend charts now put IE’s share under 70% for the first time in many years. Interestingly, Chrome’s near-1% doesn’t appear to have been at the expense of Safari and Firefox either, since both are well up on January 2008.

It remains to be seen how Internet Explorer 8 will affect these figures, but for designers still mulling over whether to make the leap to standards compliance and stop designing for the largest market, the path is now clear. Once, you might have been unconvinced by the ‘one in ten using something other than IE’ argument, but with a third of users now browsing with something other than Microsoft’s giant, it’d be absurd to author web pages in any other manner.

No wonder Chris Morris had trouble funding his upcoming Jihadi comedy (see Warp films for the latest—more positive—development)—satire, it seems, is dead.

I recently moaned about the unbelievably stupid, over-the-top public reaction to Brand and Ross’s telephone prank, where tens of thousands of people who hadn’t witnessed the incident nonetheless complained, which has led to the powers-that-be saying we need a register of ‘high risk’ programmes. Whether this means killing something like Brass Eye (or even Mock the Week) at birth remains to be seen—probably, as we enter another Mary Whitehouse era.

However, what totally bowled me over today is how, without even a hint of irony, ITV replaced Jonathan Ross with Angus Deayton at the Comedy Awards. For those of you with memories presumably as short as ITV’s, Deayton was kicked off Have I Got News For You? six years back after revelations regarding links with prostitutes and cocaine. Therefore, they’ve replaced a disgraced presenter who was rude to an old man with one who once had a penchant for ladies of the night and sniffing exciting white powder.

It’s quite possible the Daily Mail and all its readers will self-combust upon hearing the news. Good.