Johnny Davis in the Guardian:

The “i” in iMac was supposed to stand for “internet”, but the first models had no slot drives – users had no way of burning their own CDs or DVDs. Given that almost 30m PCs were sold with this capability during 2000, Apple had missed a trick.

Really? REALLY? Having been woken this morning at 6 a.m. by the army seemingly blowing up the local countryside, I’m pretty fucking tired (and, frankly, more than a little grumpy). But even if I’d not slept all night and had instead spent the night drinking a combination of whisky and more whisky, I’d have not made the error Davis does above. Hell, even a 12-year-old copying bits of Wikipedia would not have made that error, assuming they could read and parse basic information.

This leads me to the following reasoning. Pick one or more from:

• Johnny Davis can write but, sadly, cannot research/read.
• Johnny Davis drinks far too much whisky before writing articles.
• Johnny Davis, like so many people writing about tech these days, doesn’t understand enough about what he’s writing about.
• Johnny Davis frankly doesn’t give a fuck, and the Guardian subs can’t be arsed to do basic fact-checking.
• And the get-out-clause for Johnny Davis (because I’m feeling generous): one of the Guardian’s subs needs beating to death with a trowel and/or a surprisingly weighty 1990s Mac laptop.

Still, I am tired, so maybe I’m misremembering and was totally hallucinating the optical drives in the original iMac (which were tray-based rather than slot-loading, and yes, a lack of burning, but GET YOUR GENERAL FACTS RIGHT IF YOU’RE CONCOCTING AN ARGUMENT), and the fact the only ‘missing’ drive was the dead-in-the-water floppy. Yes, that must be it. After all, someone paid large sums of cash to write for a national newspaper wouldn’t get such utterly basic facts wrong, would they?