Tablets such as the iPad are a fad, says PCWorld’s Katherine Noyes while quaffing crazy juice
This one’s gold: Why Tablets Are Just a Fad, on PCWorld, by Katherine Noyes. For some reason, Noyes appears particularly miffed at the suggestion tablets are obliterating laptops and netbooks in mobile computing. It’s all she can do to stop herself screaming “No, you idiots! Laptops forever,” before jumping off a cliff with 15 Sony Vaios glued to her head.
Ever since rumors of Apple’s first iPad began to look credible back in 2009, I’ve been watching the tablet space with a mixture of wonder and confusion.
Which is presumably why you wrote the article you did, but do go on…
After all, the devices really don’t offer anything you can’t get on a smartphone
Aside from, say, a bigger screen that hugely impacts on the usability of complex apps and makes reading books and watching movies a lot nicer.
or a notebook computer,
Apart from massively superior battery life, a slew of handy streamlined apps, a lack of lap-burning temperatures and touchscreen capabilities that actually work.
and their form factor is inconvenient, at best.
Unlike those super-convenient laptops, with their super-convenient form factors. CLAMSHELL FOREVER!
Yet strong sales are backing up the hype–at least for now–suggesting something about the devices has caught on with consumers. What is that mysterious “something”?
The tactile nature of computing? The huge number of available apps? The high level of usability that means even toddlers and centenarians can use the devices?
Purely marketing, I believe.
Oh. Stupid me.
Apple is nothing if not master of the glitzy sales pitch, and there’s never been better proof of that than the iPad’s current success.
Fair enough. 15 million consumers can’t be wrong. UNLESS THEY’RE TAKEN IN BY APPLE’S GLITZY SALES PITCH!
Mark my words: The device–and all the others of its ilk that have sprung up for a piece of the action–are nothing more than a passing fad, at least in the mainstream.
I’m sure you’re right, assuming we ignore the iPad’s ongoing success. And the iPad 2’s huge early sales. And the iPad 3 rumours that are already circulating. And the fact every single major manufacturer in this space is desperately trying to rip off Apple and create its own ‘iPad’.
1. Limited Functionality. As far as I can tell, tablets do not offer any significant functionality that’s not already available on a smartphone or notebook computer
Which, as hinted at earlier, are two entirely different things, with different use-cases.
yet they lack critical components like keyboards.
Man, if only my iPad had a software keyboard or some means of connecting to a mechanical Bluetooth keyboard.
In fact, you can get a laptop with considerably more memory and storage and a much better CPU for a significantly lower price, as my PCWorld colleague recently pointed out.
Presumably, your PCWorld colleague didn’t point out that only geeks care about tech bullet points, and that CPU speed doesn’t remotely dictate how fast a device actually feels? No? Ah.
So why the hysteria? It’s a fancy new toy, and–in the case of the iPad–one from Apple, at that. Never underestimate consumers’ desire to impress each other with the latest and greatest gadget, especially if they’re Apple fans. “Latest and greatest,” however, doesn’t tend to stay in one place for long.
Tsk. Those 15 million idiot Apple fan-boys, eh? (Let’s ignore for the moment that many people buying iPads are entirely new to Apple, and the majority of iOS device owners don’t own a Mac.)
2. It’s Inconvenient. Unlike smartphones, the tablet form factor is too large to fit in a pocket or purse, yet it doesn’t offer anywhere near the functionality of only slightly larger devices like notebooks and laptop computers.
But you can fit a laptop into your pocket or purse? I don’t understand.
I just don’t see why you’d be willing to carry one of these things around–in addition to a phone, most likely–when you could have something convenient (a single good smartphone) or powerful (a laptop).
Oh, OK. Either it has to be mobile or it has to have a 426 GHz processor. Got you. That makes sense—if you’re a crazy person.
3. Waning Excitement. It’s true that other manufacturers are still hot on Apple’s trail with their own iPad-like contenders, but the release of the iPad 2 made it clear that excitement with the devices is already fading.
Mm. Those queues were only slightly longer than the ones for the original iPad, and the device only sold quite a lot more units. Wait. What was your point again?
Reviews of Apple’s new tablet were generally mixed,
True. The fuckers didn’t even include a free unicorn.
suggesting that reality is beginning to sink in.
And not that people had unrealistic expectations. WHERE IS MY GODDAMN UNICORN, APPLE?
4. Remember the PDA? Back in the 1990s, PDAs were the must-have device du jour, but they went on to spawn today’s smartphones. And indeed, the value they offered–and still offer, in smartphone form–is hard to argue with: portability, organizational tools and Internet connectivity, to name just a few. The natural evolution in this space led from something bulky but useful into something conveniently portable and useful; why would we want to go back again?
Because I can’t use GarageBand on my iPhone. Or (comfortably) read. Or create art in SketchBook Pro. Or play Civilisation Revolutions, Halcyon or World of Goo. Or work with Keynote. Or— Oh, sorry, you were being rhetorical, weren’t you?
It’s no secret that I am not an Apple fan
Man, I’d really never have guessed. GOOD JOB IT DIDN’T COME THROUGH IN YOUR ARTICLE OR ANYTHING.
as its devices are so closed and restrictive
Yeah, those Apple bastards and their walled gardens. Luckily, that’s not the case elsewhere. I’m looking forward to a weekend of installing the Mac version of iLife on my Windows PC and Microsoft Office on my Xbox.
…
What?
For that reason, I’d be far more inclined to look at Android tablets such as the Motorola Xoom–which, I should add, could certainly be useful in niche applications such as health care and inventory control.
CURVEBALL AWOOGA ALERT!
So, tablets are rubbish, boring, inconvenient and overly-hyped, apart from when they’re not made by Apple? And only for niche applications that the iPad already excels in but Android doesn’t? Right. Got it. Carry on.
For my purposes, though, I just can’t be bothered. I see no reason to own a tablet, and fully expect them to fade out of the mainstream over the next few years.
Much like your relevance as a tech writer.
I can’t tell whether she’s insincere or completely incapable of perceiving anything but a very narrow point of view artificially constructed to omit facts that don’t fit in.
While I have written professionally about the Mac for something like 17 years now, I don’t consider myself a fanboy or even a “fan.” I like and use Apple products primarily because I’ve never found anything in most categories that’s superior. I’m willing to pay the “tax” in that by paying more I am more productive and happier, and have a typically vastly better experience in obtaining repairs!
I can critique Apple stuff and management with the best of them, though. I didn’t let the true magic of the iPad—the fact that Apple managed to build something beautifully that no one had ever even approximated—disguise my concern about its weight, some awkward features, and the launch months before a version of 4.0 would be ready for it.
Likewise, the cameras suck on the iPad 2, and were added pretty much as a bullet-item point, which Apple rarely (if ever) does. That’s a shame, and it’s worth discussing. Since I will rarely use the back camera, and don’t do FaceTime or Skype video much, it doesn’t affect me, but it’s still a shame Apple cheaped out there.
I don’t think the cameras were a bullet-point, given that I know a whole bunch of people avoided buying an iPad because they lacked video-chat capability. The front-facing one at the least was a good idea, and I guess two work best for FaceTime. But, yeah, that PCWorld article is bonkers in the extreme.
Great article craig!
I seen a lot of people really slating the iPad and 90% of which just dont get it.
I think they should all use one for 48 hours before commenting again then let us know their thoughts. Perhaps apple could loan these people one for 48 hours!
p.s. I actually got a unicorn with mine.
The article is too surreal, it must have been written mostly to draw hits. Is PC World following the ‘AOL way’ now?
2 completely pointless pieces of writing.
“my computer’s better than yours!”
thanks so much for sharing this with us.
This posting lost all credibility after…
‘Aside from, say, a bigger screen that hugely impacts on the usability of complex apps and makes reading books and watching movies a lot nicer.’
Complex apps? Anytime an iPad user demo’s the device for me all they have is some silly game, a UI for Twitter and the occasional organizer. I have several people in my office environment (a technical environment) with iPads, and 90% of the time they sit idle in their office and bring them to meetings to stimulate conversation. They themselves admit that all they really do with it is play around with it a few minutes before bed. There is very little PRACTICAL functionality.
Yeah, Frank, you’re right. Apart from all the commercial artists using Brushes and SketchBook Pro, obviously. And the writers using IA Writer. And the web designers I know who use FTP On The Go (and similar apps) for making edits while on the move. Apart from those bits of practical functionality, the iPad is basically useless. Well, apart from the DB apps. And the music apps. And all those medical apps, being used in hospitals to help save people’s lives. Aside from THOSE, the iPad is a total waste of time and space, from a practical standpoint. Well, apart from the remote access apps. And the GTD apps. And useful niche apps like Soulver. And (That’s enough of that – Ed.)