Macworld, along with a billion other outlets, are today pointing to a Digitimes report that claims the iPhone 5 will have a curved screen.This follows rumours—neatly summed up by Nowhere Else—that the iPhone 5 will have a bigger display, a 3D display, better resolution, the same design, a different design, a physical keyboard, no storage, more storage, free unicorns, expensive unicorns, a better battery, a battery made from love and puppies, NFC, LTE, HDMI, LOL, iOS 5, iTunes cloud music, voice controls, no controls, a glass back, a metal back, a flat back, a higher price tag, a lower price tag, and an ability to usher in myriad stupid rumours about the iPhone 6.

So, the curved glass thing. Maybe. It’s all a bit Samsung, though, isn’t it, and the last time Apple did curved glass (with one of the many iPod nano iterations) everyone bloody hated it. Plus, consider this:

  • iPod touch: thin, flat, metal-back, flat screen.
  • iPad 2: thin, flat, metal-back, flat screen.

I’d come to some sort of conclusion about the iPhone 5’s form factor based on the above points if I wasn’t drunk on gin* to TAKE AWAY THE PAIN of all the sodding iPhone rumours.

* OK, water **.

** And I’m not drunk, but I almost wish I was, having read those rumours.