What’s that, Informa? You chucked a dart at a giant calendar and hit 2016, and so are now claiming Google tablet sales will overtake the iPad in five years? What, you’re all insulted by me suggesting you made this up? Really? You mean you actually have some kind of analysis tools for this kind of bullshit and don’t just pull it out of your arse at random? You really think you can predict the future patterns of this kind of technology, when the entire market didn’t even fucking exist five years ago? And you know that the market is going to trend towards Android, because, what? Because you think it will? Because Google has pimped its OS to any company with a credit card? Because that’s more or less (ish) what happened with Windows and the Mac, and Apple never learns because it’s closed and BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH?

What about the iPod, dickheads? Didn’t Apple retain the lion’s share of the market in that sector throughout? What about new disruptive technology that doesn’t exist yet, which may or may not be designed and released by Apple? What about the fact that right now, no bugger nor his dog can match Apple on price and build quality and experience? What about the simple, plain fact that Android tablets aren’t selling well, to the point companies making them only reveal how many have shipped?

Maybe you could try answering some of those questions next time, analysts, rather than shitting out yet another random point in time when you think the iPad will be ‘inevitably’ overtaken by Android.