To sum up Apple’s announcement earlier today…

Apple:

We’ve released an update to the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. It’s way faster, yet has a longer battery life. The graphics performance is stronger, for better gaming. Antenna problems have been fixed through a cunning dual-antenna system. It works worldwide (GSM and CDMA) but isn’t any bulkier. The camera’s 8MP, also with better video recording. There’s a new version of iOS, with loads of great features. And there’s iCloud to tie everything together.

Whiny internet bitches:

Wah wah! No iPhone 5! Wah wah wahhhhhhh!