Dan Seitz writes a pair of articles for Guyism, showcasing an interesting line of thinking. And by interesting, I mean bonkers. He first tells you what tablets to avoid: BlackBerry’s Playbook (cheap but heading for a write-off); HP’s TouchPad and the Dell Streak 7 (discontinued); Motorola Xoom 2 (underwhelming sales and possible privacy concerns); and—drumroll—the iPad 2.

Now, the Xoom reasoning is a little odd, but the iPad one takes the biscuit and is worth quoting in full:

Why are we recommending you not bother with this one? Because the iPad 3 is inevitable next year, and there might even be two of them. It’s not worth $500 for a device that will be obsolete in three to five months.

Obsolete is a very loaded term, and it suggests a device is worthless. Claiming the iPad 2 will be obsolete when the iPad 3 appears is ludicrous.

So, what should we be buying? Which tablets aren’t “sinking like rocks”, according to Seitz? In his follow-up, he mentions three. For the business traveler/heavy laptop user, the Asus Transformer Prime, because Android tablets are never rapidly superseded, right?

[For] $50 more than the best iPad, you get a lot more for your money.

Essentially, for $750, you have a blazingly fast laptop and insanely quick tablet in one package. The Prime has a quad-core processor, faster than any other tablet on the market, more space that any tablet at its price point, and a better design. Even better, it’s got microSD and microHDMI support right out of the box, meaning you can expand it if you need to.

Sounds like a bullet-point checklist from the days of tech specs.

And for casual users and non-techies? Seitz hates the iPad, so I would have thought he’d mention the Kindle Fire. But he moans about “ongoing WiFi problems” and ends up recommending the Nook Color eReader and Nook Tablet, respectively.

Sometimes there just aren’t the words.