Or: The Penultimate Penultimate Ninja

Games these days often fall foul of the ‘gloss’ criticism—they’re very pretty, but peel away this superficial layer and they play about as well as a CD that’s been attacked by a knife-wielding maniac. But this isn’t new—in fact, even the odd 8-bit title suffered from this problem, and The Last Ninja is a case in point.

I remember the first time I played the isometric ninja ‘epic’, spurred on by reviewers falling over themselves to fawn over System 3 and heap awards and praise on the game itself. First impressions were good: the music was lovely, and the graphics were quite nice. However, as soon as I started playing, that creeping feeling set in, and I soon realised there was a slight problem: the game was rubbish. The environment was limited and the fights were borderline canned and extremely dull. Too many sections in the game demanded pixel-perfect jumps of the type Jet Set Willy had been slammed for a couple of years previously.

Two decades later and The Last Ninja has landed on Virtual Console with a splat, offering newcomers the chance to guide Armakuni (that’s the ninja) through a half-dozen or so tedious isometric levels, on his way to defeat the evil shogun, a process made even more hateful by the fact that the game’s even more fiddly to control on the Wii. The graphics aren’t that pretty these days either, but at least the music’s still good.

So: two stars for the excellent soundtrack, and minus fifty billion for the crappy controls and rubbish gameplay. Unfortunately, Revert to Saved’s rating system only goes down to 1/5, so that’ll have to do.

The Last Ninja is available now on Virtual Console for 500 Wii points (£3.50ish). Alternatively, hurl three pound coins and a 50-pence piece at a violent drunk and have him beat you up—you’ll have a much more satisfying experience.

The United Nations of sports simulations

Sometimes, you shouldn’t go back. Just as it’s painfully clear to older eyes that 1980s TV shows such as Knight Rider and Transformers were, in fact, rubbish, it’s a jolt when a much-revered old-time game stinks like a sewer in the cold, harsh light of the modern day. Sadly, that’s (almost) the case with World Games, an Epyx ‘classic’ originally released in 1986 for the Commodore 64 that’s recently stumbled on to Virtual Console.

Clearly running out of traditional sporting events after a slew of Olympic-inspired efforts, Epyx began culling sports from the bizarre end of the spectrum for World Games. Instead of running, jumping and swimming, there’s sumo wrestling, caber tossing and barrel jumping. Although variety is the spice of life, half of the eight events taste like soot, due to poor implementation (the barely playable slalom skiing), sluggish controls (log rolling, sumo wrestling), or just by virtue of being dull and unoriginal, even at the time (weightlifting).

It’s not all bad news—the game is peppered with cute animations and the barrel jumping, cliff diving and bull riding events offer some basic fun (and, fact fans, the bull-riding event is actually very easy if you can, say, hold a joystick and read instructions), although as standalone events for the single player, they’re still limited and throwaway. And so unless you have a copious number of friends and cans of beer to hand, World Games is unlikely to hold your interest for long.

World Games is available now on Virtual Console for 500 Wii points (£3.50ish), or for a fraction of that via eBay, if you fancy a copy of the original.

To the max! Or something

Space Invaders is rubbish. The word ‘extreme’, when placed after an existing word or short phrase, makes the subject seem worse by a factor of fifty-six billion. Therefore, the fact that Space Invaders Extreme is not only very much not rubbish, but is instead staggeringly good, is flabbergasting.

At its core, Space Invaders Extreme is the same game that wowed people in the late 1970s, but became old-hat upon the arrival of myriad superior shooters. Invaders invade (from space, natch), and you shoot them. Only this time, invader patterns change with each wave, bonus levels provide adrenaline-fuelled bouts of additional blasting and extra weapons furnish you with the means to rapidly annihilate scores of aggressors.

In addition, Space Invaders Extreme offers a pumping soundtrack, dizzying visuals and a score mechanic that combine to put you half in mind of Rez and half in mind of a fruit machine. It’s simply brilliant, and the entire package engrosses to the extent that you soon forget you’ve given hours of your life to the game—at least, up until when your hands cramp up in screaming agony.

Space Invaders Extreme is available now on import (Play -Asia.com), and will be released on June 17 in the USA and July 1 in Europe.

Including a six-page interview with artist legend Roger Dean

Surviving the death of a publisher is no mean feat, but in December 2005 Retro Gamer crawled from the wreckage of Live Publishing and set up shop at Imagine. Now, against all odds, the magazine is celebrating its 50th issue.

For this milestone, I’ve penned something special and a bit different from my usual videogame making-ofs—an interview with Roger Dean. Inventor of the sea-urchin chair and cover artist for Yes, Roger’s best known in gaming circles for his imaginative and stunning artwork for Psygnosis games. However, as the interview reveals, his gaming-oriented output is more wide-ranging than covers for classic 16-bit titles.

Find out more about Retro Gamer and buy the current issue at www.retrogamer.net.