“You can not update this software since you have not owned the major version of this software”

A year ago, I asked: when will the App Store learn to count? This question came from me getting App Store update notifications in iTunes and on updating ‘everything’ discovering that updates were still available. In the end, I tracked this down to there being multiple accounts on my machine—in order to see the updates for each account, I had to sign into the account, select Applications from the Library sidebar, and click ‘Check for updates’ at the foot of the Applications page.

For Apple, this is a pretty cumbersome process, but then a lot of things relating to iPhone and iPod touch sync are utterly dire from a UI standpoint (not least the dreadful Applications and Films tabs when you’re managing content on your device). However, I should have kept my mouth shut, because things just got a whole lot worse.

As of iTunes 9.0.3 (at least in my case), all ‘free updates’ for apps are now listed on a single page, but iTunes isn’t intelligent enough to figure out which accounts the apps come from. Therefore, ‘Download All Free Updates’ now cheerfully tells you ‘You can not update this software since you have not owned the major version of this software’ (nice copywriting, Apple). iTunes doesn’t bother saying which apps the dialog relates to, and so you have to click ‘Get Update’ on each individual app, to see if iTunes will enable you to download an update.

Presumably, Apple’s made this change to discourage multiple iTunes accounts on single machines. In my case, I have a US App Store account to redeem promotion codes so I can review apps and therefore promote them and the App Store. For reasons unknown, Apple has yet to realise that people outside of the US might like to have access to promo codes. However, plenty of other people use one Mac with several accounts, and so this change will trip them up, too.

So: well done, Apple. I’m hoping this is a bug, rather than a deliberate decision, but given Apple’s recent history on bizarre decisions relating to the App Store, it probably isn’t.

Thanks, Apple, for not noting which of my dozens of app updates I’ve ‘not owned the major version’ of. Also: sack your copywriter and whoever made this dialog.

The BBC reports that Odeon’s reversed its decision to boycott the upcoming Alice in Wonderland film “following talks with Disney”. If you’ve not followed this story, Odeon got narked after Disney announced it was to ignore the standard ’17 weeks to DVD’, dropping the gap by four weeks. This, argued Odeon, would screw over UK cinema chains by setting a new benchmark that would reduce their potential revenue.

Disney’s stance is that by getting the DVD out sooner, it’ll reduce bootlegging. I have two helpful hints to Disney in this regard:

1. A brilliant way to stop bootlegging is to stop screwing over the international market. If you release all of your films at the same time everywhere, rather than many of them in the US first and six months later everywhere else, people will be more likely to rush out to see them, rather than reading about them in some mag, twiddling thumbs for a few days, reading more online reviews from the US, getting impatient and then torrenting the films. Note: happily, this will also deal with the ‘disappointing international box office returns’ you keep whining about regarding Pixar films that are out on Region 1 DVD by the time they finally arrive in cinemas in the UK and elsewhere.
2. You cannot bootleg a cinema experience. It’s pretty clear that many films—including a lot of those by Disney—are as much about the environment and the big screen these days as the story. To that end, reducing the potential amount of time films stay in cinemas by at least four weeks is stupid.

Now the snappily named Windows Phone Series 7 has been revealed, it’s fisticuffs at dawn between Microsoft and Apple. Well, between Microsoft and a cardboard cut-out of Apple, because no words are coming from Cupertino (bar Steve Jobs bitching about Flash every few minutes), but Microsoft’s taking swipes at iPhone at every opportunity.

The latest snipe regarding gaming comes from Oded Ran, head of consumer marketing for Windows phone in the UK. “It’s not about whether you have 6,000 different arcade puzzle games in a specific category on your app store,” he says. “It’s about how good they are—it’s not about the number, it’s about the quality.” (Source: Mobile Entertainment.)

To be fair, I agree. Quality over quantity is always the best way to go (although I’d argue the App Store offers both to gamers), but here’s the thing: for years, Microsoft has taken the exact opposite stance regarding Apple. Windows, it’s said, is better than Mac OS because it has more apps, more devs, more support (and more exciting viruses—oho!), but now Microsoft’s in the minority, it’s playing the ‘we only care about quality’ game. Right. And I’m sure Microsoft wouldn’t change its tune at all if someone could somehow magic 10,000 games for its upcoming platform out of thin air while simultaneously deleting 99% of Apple’s App Store content.

MacRumors reports that HP execs are to soon meet for discussion regarding pricing and features on the company’s upcoming iPadalike. If the Wall Street Journal is to be believed, HP’s cunning plan is to provide something “similar to the iPad in size and features” but to undercut the Apple device’s price.

Well done, HP—you’ve learned nothing. After all, hardware-oriented willy waving and low price-points worked out so well for you in the PC industry, didn’t they?

TechRadar and a billion other sites confirm Microsoft won’t be offering any upgrade pricing for Office 2010. In the UK, you’ll pay £109.99 for Office Home and Student version, £239.99 for Office Home and Business and £399.99 for Office Professional, which reportedly comes with an aversion to actual work, a slick hair-do and a propensity for leering after digital secretaries.

Microsoft’s reasoning is that “Office Home & Business 2010 represents a substantial saving over [the] comparative Office Standard 2007 suite while including an additional application (OneNote) and Office Web Apps” and claims “the majority of users will immediately benefit from the greater value and simplified setup experience offered by Product Key Cards”. The lack of an upgrade path has nothing to do with Microsoft “wanting more of your money, scumbag users who are locked into our product and yet don’t realise they don’t really need to upgrade if they’re happy with what they have—mwahahahaha”, or “sticking our fingers in our ears and going lalalalalalalalala, I can’t hear you, whenever OpenOffice.org and other dangerous competing products are mentioned”.