Fucking hell. That nicely sums up my reaction to AllThingsD’s article stating that Apple’s canned TV rentals. Being British, a mystical place called ‘overseas’ that whoever does Apple’s media deals isn’t entirely sure actually exists and therefore largely ignores, I had to use a sneaky US account to access TV rentals on the Apple TV. And here’s what happened:

• 48 episodes of Lie to Me rented ($47.52)
• 48 episodes of Castle rented ($47.52)
• A bunch of miscellaneous rentals of Grey’s Anatomy and random other shows (about $100)

Without Apple TV rentals, we (Mrs G and I) would have probably never discovered and watched Lie to Me. Grey’s Anatomy… we were acquiring that by ‘other means’ before the 99-cent rentals rendered that pointless. And Castle? Well, we love Castle, but not enough to spend loads of cash on it. We’d have waited for the inevitable DVD firesale in the UK or US and picked it up for bugger all—and certainly than for less of the price of the iTunes rentals.

Apple’s laughable spin is that “customers have shown they overwhelmingly prefer buying TV shows”, but that’s bullshit. While reaction to my complaints about Apple binning TV rentals on Twitter shows this is certainly the case for some people, it isn’t for others; more likely, the studios holding back their content was to blame, leaving the rental selection in a pitiful state, especially towards the end. And at the same time the likes of Warner Bros. were arguing 99-cent rentals devalued their content, they were of course allowing Netflix users to download as much as they liked for eight bucks per month. Classy.

So, where does this leave anyone who loves TV? Well, you now have the following choices:

• Pay for hugely expensive cable or satellite, which gives you tons of crap and a few shows you actually care about.
• Pay over the odds for shows on iTunes: £2.49 ($4) per HD episode, in the UK.
• Grab waste-of-resources Blu-rays or DVDs when they show up or, if you’re savvy, hang on for the sales, and then try to figure out how to fit your ever-growing collection in your home.
• Visit the naughty web and say “screw you” to the studios.

Me, I’ll probably head for the third of those options now, but I’m sorely tempted by the fourth. The thing is, I actually want to pay for good shows and support those who make them, but the studios aren’t making it easy. I’m not paying twice as much for a series of House on iTunes as it costs on DVD, but I’m also not exactly thrilled by the prospect of buying more discs-in-card-boxes that waste resources and take up space. I also don’t really care to download content that I then ‘own’ and that takes up hard drive space when I only watch the vast majority of shows once. (Note to US readers yelling “But what about iCloud?”, Brits will only get app and book sync initially—we’re left out of the media-streaming excitement.)

So, yeah, thanks, Apple and thanks, greedy studios. Maybe one day the studios will wake up and realise that 99p or so would be a sensible price-point for a TV show, but I won’t hold my breath. (Even many games companies don’t seem to understand that popular products sell way more copies when they’re cheap, otherwise Pac-Man would always be 69p, rather than rather more ambitiously priced.) Also, take this surrender by Apple as a possible shot across the bows regarding digital movie rentals. As I said a couple of weeks back, they’re now being removed from iTunes with alarming speed, to drive up purchases that are often costlier than grabbing a DVD. It wouldn’t shock me if Apple quietly decides to trash that aspect of the iTunes Store, while being strong-armed by the studios, under the excuse that people want to ‘own’ their movies.

Chortle reports that Ideal has been axed. The comedy was brave (given its subject matter), edgy and endlessly inventive. Even when it dialled down the comedy (as in the previous series), it retained the interest, with surreal darkness that came from a very odd place indeed.

Series creator Graham Duff revealed, naturally, that Ideal was getting its highest audience to date when the BBC pulled the plug, and reading between the lines at The British Comedy Guide, the decision seems more down to new (as of late 2010) controller Zai Bennett wanting to stamp his mark on the channel, by cancelling almost everything that was commissioned before he arrived.

This all means that Ideal’s multiple cliffhangers will never be resolved, but comedy fans can rejoice, because while Bennett is arguing for a clean sweep, that of course doesn’t apply to things he commissioned. And so the innovative, daring White Van Man, about a guy who takes over his dad’s decorating business (produced by ITV!) gets a second series. PHEW!

Callum Jones:

Sky have attempted to buy every successful programme on television in the past two decades.  But, instead of buying out shows when they are initially offered, they wait for other channels to show them for their first few seasons.  At which point, should the show in question be a success, they use the ludicrous amount of money they have access to and outbid the broadcaster who first bought its rights.  This dirty method, unfortunately, guarantees Sky more customers and more viewers.  In case you don’t believe me, I’ll run by you a fraction of the programmes Sky Television have bought via these methods:

24 (from the BBC)

Entourage (from ITV)

ER (from Channel 4)

Flight of the Concordes (from the BBC)

Friends (from Channel 4)

Glee (from Channel 4)

Grey’s Anatomy (from Channel 4)

Lost (from Channel 4)

Mad Men (from the BBC)

Prison Break (from Channel 5)

The Simpsons (from the BBC)

As of today, it’s been announced that Sky’s grabbed F1 coverage from the BBC, a network that has provided superb coverage of the sport. The BBC simply couldn’t afford to outbid Sky, not least with the British government hobbling the BBC by freezing the licence fee. The Murdochs still claim the BBC is too rich, too dominant and has too much influence, while regularly outbidding it for anything considered popular. One wonders how Sky will act once it’s obliterated terrestrial channels, and once it’s colluded with successive governments to essentially turn the BBC into PBS UK.

Charlie Brooker for The Guardian:

If anyone reading this runs a news channel, please, don’t clog the airwaves with fact-free conjecture unless you’re going to replace the word “expert” with “guesser” and the word “speculate” with “guess”, so it’ll be absolutely clear that when the anchor asks the expert to speculate, they’re actually just asking a guesser to guess. Also, choose better guessers. Your guessers were terrible, like toddlers hypothesising how a helicopter works.

This refers to the recent and terrible events in Norway, but also happens to be relevant for an awful lot of news coverage these days.

It looks like the rumours regarding Doctor Who, sparked by Private Eye, weren’t that far off. While the BBC clearly won’t say the show is in chaos and has committed to another 14 episodes, when they’re going out is a concern. According to Digital Spy, BBC One controller Danny Cohen has confirmed Doctor Who will not get a full-length series in 2012. Instead, some of the 14 episodes will air in 2012, and the remainder will be broadcast in 2013, possibly as part of a run of anniversary episodes.

Of course, the series is split this year. We’ve already have the first seven episodes,  culminating in A Good Man Goes to War, and the rest will air in the autumn. However, this makes sense, because Doctor Who’s ratings fell off a cliff during summer broadcasts. Running the show in late spring and early autumn increases the number of eyes watching. But splitting the series over 2012 and 2013 effectively reduces Doctor Who to the UK’s second-shortest run tier, the six- or seven-episode series. With the show finally gaining a foothold in the USA, it’s bizarre that the BBC is reducing output further, and I can only imagine the show is now too expensive for the corporation, despite its potential for sales and merchandising. Either that or some higher-ups at the BBC still hate the show (as was well documented in the 1980s) and are reigning it in.

Regardless, this seems a crazy decision for the BBC to make. Doctor Who has become a flagship show, and although it’s not to everyone’s tastes, it’s inventive, unique, fun and quintessentially British. Still, I’m sure the BBC won’t have trouble filling the time-slot with yet another generic talent show.

UPDATE: Show-runner Steven Moffat on Twitter:

Dr Who: misquotes and misunderstandings. But I’m not being bounced into announcing the cool stuff before we’re ready. Hush, and patience.

What this means is anyone’s guess, given that Cohen’s words left little alternate interpretation.

UPDATE 2: BBC blames 2012 Who shortfall on show-runner Moffat’s workload, since he’s also dealing with the second series of Sherlock.

UPDATE 3: Moffat on Twitter say the BBC are talking shit.