Following on from reports that Microsoft has delivered its ‘other’ tablet operating system (ZDNet), the snappily named Windows Embedded Compact 7, which is meant to be for consumption devices, rather than consumption and creation devices, the rumour mill is hot with news of a further exciting Microsoft announcement later today, sure to scupper Apple’s iPad 2 launch.

According to ‘sources’, Microsoft will unveil Windows Inserted Not Quite Teeny Weeny But Nonetheless Somewhat Small 7, which has been designed specifically for devices that are “mostly consumption devices, but occasionally used for creation, like when the owner’s without a laptop and really needs to creatively create an Excel spreadsheet in a creative manner”.

When asked about how Microsoft’s staggeringly bonkers mobile fragmentation strategy hopes to compete with Apple’s single flavour of iOS across all devices, a spokesperson said: “Look, just fuck off, will you?” before feverishly smashing up an iPhone 4 with a hammer.