A leading industry analyst has declared that “Apple is basically fucked” after Apple’s 2010 fourth quarter results revealed that iPod sales had declined by 11 percent.

With the ubiquitous music player the only important product Apple makes, the leading analyst dismissed Apple’s record $20.4 billion revenue and $4.31 billion profit as “a blip” and said “it’s not like we just make shit up as we go along, you know,” adding: “If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother to sell your Apple shares, because the company really is that fucked—by the time you try, it’ll be too late.”

Another leading industry analyst agreed, pointing out that Apple was “closed”, “not open”, “somewhat shut” and “blinkered”, again pointing to the disastrous 11 percent decline in iPod sales as the “final proof that Apple is done”. Writing off the 27 percent jump in Mac sales and 91 increase in iPhone sales (to 14.1 million), he added: “Look, the iPod is where it’s at, and it’s clear Apple is losing that battle. I predict that within the year, Apple will be lucky to sell whatever’s left of its battered reputation to Acer for ten bucks and change.”

Yet another leading analyst chimed in: “It’s unlikely that Apple will survive the year. The drop in iPod sales will really hit Apple, and the tiny number of iPad sales—just over four million—won’t be enough to help the iPod maker struggle into 2011.”

Retro Gamer won a GMA last night (‘Best Games Magazine’), which is rather nice. Since it’s the only games magazine I write for, I’m going to take all the credit.

Meanwhile, if you’re a fan of Infocom, Steve Meretzky, leather goddesses, Phobos, or Leather Goddesses of Phobos, buying the latest issue of the mag (complete with flying Mario advent calendar cover—I kid you not) would be a good idea, since it includes The Making of… Leather Goddesses of Phobos (by yours truly).

Gah. I’m so behind the rest of the world. There’s been antennaegate and then there was Ryan Block’s not-at-all-link-bait glassgate that the rest of the tech industry parroted in its typical unthinking manner, without, you know, thinking it might be a good idea to check some of the supposed facts.

I need my own ‘gate’ to become famous (and then, presumably, hated and ridiculed a few hours later, but that’s the price of fame—just ask Jedward), but I don’t even own an iPhone 4 (not that lacking something you’re writing about is a problem for quite a few tech hacks these days).

Any ideas? I was thinking about actually-it-seems-that-the-iphone-4-works-quite-well-gate, but I don’t think that’ll draw in the traffic.

BBC News reports that Gap’s scrapping its new logo a week after introducing it, after thousands of people told them it was utter bollocks. They cunningly binned a well-known, iconic logo and replaced it with generic, dull type that had a blue square behind it. Or did they?

The more I look into this story, the more it reeks of a PR stunt. Scrap a logo, replace it with something that looks like it was knocked up by a junior web designer, wait for the vitriol, get publicity. And then, when the ranting’s at its loudest, say the following:

We’ve been listening to and watching all of the comments this past week. We heard them say over and over again they are passionate about our blue box logo, and they want it back.

So we’ve made the decision to do just that—we will bring it back across all channels.

Those are the words of Mark Hansen, president of Gap Brand North America, who didn’t go on to say: “Ha! We pulled the wool over your eyes, didn’t we, you stupid idiots.”

Mind you, he did add a rather worrying point that suggested maybe this wasn’t a stunt and that Gap really doesn’t know its arse from its elbow regarding branding. He said Gap “did not go about this in the right way” and “missed the opportunity to engage with the online community”. Er, what? The last thing you want to do is ‘engage with the online community’ regarding your branding, because the online community knows shit. All you’ll get are people moaning about any kind of change, or offering My First Logo™ designed in MS Paint, which they naturally think is also The Best Logo Ever™ and ignoring the fact that a logo and a brand aren’t the same thing.

When it comes to branding, engagement is key, but you talk to your customers about what they think your brand represents; you talk to your staff; you figure out what you’re trying to say. You don’t open it up to the world, creating a brand designed by the largest committee possible, otherwise you end up with something even worse and more watered down than what Gap was using until today.

Sometimes you have a secret you’re bursting to tell everyone about, but you can’t, otherwise an editor will hunt you down and kill you to death, using only a spoon, a slightly sharpened CD jewel case and a surprising amount of ingenuity and imagination.

Today, however, one of the most exciting magazine projects I’ve been party to was finally revealed: Tap! The iPhone and iPad Magazine. From the guys behind MacFormat (which I regularly contribute to), the 132-page iPad-sized mag will arrive for a fiver at the end of November, and it’ll have a suitably chunky games section that I’ll be overseeing. (Tap’s also on Twitter, if you want to follow it: @tapmaguk.)

It’s great to see Future taking the plunge on what’s the most exciting platform that I can remember, and I’m hugely looking forward to being involved.