It turns out that tiny humans are fond of Apple products, too. Our own particular tiny human (21 months at the time of writing), has expressed preferences for specific hardware in certain ways, most notably by gleefully smacking it with baby paws, or wailing in an eardrum-splitting fashion when it’s suggested that said Apple hardware is, in fact, someone else’s.

Here, then, are the top three Apple products, should the company want to directly target the next generation today.

1. Apple keyboard. 

For some reason, keyboards are like catnip to tiny humans. SMASH SMASH SMASH. This is especially so when a keyboard happens to be connected to a Mac on which daddy is doing work while on deadline.

2. Apple TV remote (pre-Siri).

Our living-room Apple TV is a third-gen, and mini-G decided no-one else is to be trusted with the remote (to the point when daddy accidentally stopped Peppa Pig, said remote was snatched away and hidden beyond reach). The only tiny snag is mini-G’s current usage, which is CLICK BIG BUTTON UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS. (Often: playing an entirely unsuitable trailer.)

3. Daddy’s iPhone. 

We had a knackered old iPod touch knocking about, and that became mini-G’s, loaded up with kiddie apps that run in iOS 6, and music for sleeps. But it turns out that daddy’s iPhone is SO MUCH MORE FUN. Cue: evenings where daddy watches Peppa Pig while mini-G quickly switches between Novation Launchpad, Endless ABC, and My Very Hungry Caterpillar, in a manner that makes daddy’s head spin.

I always get a little giddy at this time of year, and that’s because of the prospect of longer evenings. I’m one of those people who doesn’t get on with winter gloom. Whether I actually have seasonal affective disorder or not, I don’t know for sure. But I do know that as the evenings draw in, I feel a sense of foreboding, like a cloak of oppression lurking just out of reach. When the clocks change in October, instantly plunging evenings into early darkness, it’s like a cloak that surrounds me until the longer days return, and that I constantly have to fight.

Fortunately, at the advice of a Twitter chum, I stumbled across a SAD lamp that helps me through the worst of times. It sits on my desk, searing my retinas during the bleakest days of winter, somehow tricking my brain into thinking sunshine is blazing outside when in fact everything is shrouded in inky blackness peppered with the occasional half-hearted glow of a street lamp. But on Friday, I put my SAD lamp away, and it gave my heart a little leap of joy.

It’s for this reason that I remain militant in my support for daylight saving time. Yet every year I see an increasing number of people grumbling about it. Mostly, it seems, people hate the clocks changing by an hour twice a year; and many people complaining (lots and lots of people in the USA) live much nearer the equator than I do, and so aren’t affected nearly as much.

Here in the UK, we’d have 3am sunrises at the height of summer if daylight savings went away, yet would lose ‘lighter later’ evenings. There have been attempts in the past to address this, with campaigns suggesting the UK moves to the same time zone as France. I suspect nothing will change in the foreseeable future, not least because the Daily Mail would explode in a froth of fury if THEY over in THE EVIL EU would ever TAKE OUR TIME ZONE (or something), regardless of the various studies that suggest the UK on CET would reduce depression, energy use and road deaths.

Still, I’m happier again for seven months now we’re on summertime; but I certainly wouldn’t complain if everyone in the UK somehow forgot to put the clocks back come October.

I have a Smart TV. It’s not overly smart. It’s a Samsung, and looks quite nice, but the interface was seemingly designed by a sadist. The TV runs on-demand ‘apps’, which take ages to load; Freeview audio is always out of sync, despite Samsung going ARGLE WARGLE WILL FIX SOON HONEST BARGLE at regular intervals; the panes within the interface lurch and spin as you switch between them; and the menus seem to have mistaken accessing options for an exciting game of hide the settings.

But what’s most struck me of late is how temporary the ‘smart’ bit seems to be. This telly is about a year old, but now barely a week goes by without a little message appearing at the top of the screen about a service ending. Mostly, these are for apps I don’t really care about, but Samsung itself pulled off a doozy last summer, removing 40 per cent of the front end, so it, apparently, could make improvements and add new features in the future. Naturally, there have been no improvements and no new features since.

What gets me is that tellies are all-in-one units, which are designed to last many years, but it’s clear the software on them isn’t. And this has made me reconsider what I’d go for in future — a much dumber TV to which you can attach an Apple TV or equivalent box. At least those appear to have a bit more of a future, cost little to replace if you want to upgrade or switch units, and tend to add more capabilities over time rather than take them away.

I wrote that Game Center is broken, and that Apple told me it will “hopefully” be “resolved” “soon”, but the issues are tough to visualise for anyone who’s not experiencing them. At least, people on Twitter tell me so, and Twitter NEVER LIES.

So I dusted off my long-dormant and barely used YouTube account and made an amazing video, featuring:

• My finger
• An iPad Air 2
• Game Center white-screening
• Settings freezing on trying to access the Game Center section
• (The excellent) Dashy Crashy not being able to connect, and not showing friends in the racing
• Game Center white-screening a second time, in case you didn’t see it before

As for what I did next, you probably did guess: I wrote this blog post. So sorry about that misleading heading, but you know how it is online these days — people with SEO hats punch your face in unless you use TECHNIQUES to get people to visit your site. Just think yourself lucky they didn’t make me split this short post up into eleven separate pages. As a gallery.

For all its bluster about making perfect and ‘magical’ products, Apple has a streak of realism about it. Company execs often talk about compromise. The point is that you have to compromise on components, in order to meet certain specifications and criteria, be they to do with pricing or usability. The question is whether the right compromises are being made.

Generally, Apple seems to get things right, but there are two areas where I find Apple’s decisions regarding compromise troubling.

The first is storage. The iPhone 6s and 6s Plus, which shoot high-res photos and 4K video, and that are powerful enough to run high-end multi-GB games, start out at 16 GB. For ‘only’ an extra 80 quid or $100, you can get four times as much storage, in what seems like a blatant upsell. The iPad Air 2 also starts at 16 GB, and Apple has removed the 128 GB option, presumably to push people towards the new 128 GB 9.7-inch iPad Pro (which mercifully doesn’t have a 16 GB option, but omits a 64 GB one, leaving a void between 32 and 128).

The second area I have an issue with is the camera on the new 9.7-inch iPad Pro. In terms of specifications, it seems to match the camera in the iPhone 6s, but that also means — just like on the iPhone — it is not flush with the case. When used flat on a table, this means the new iPad will wobble — not great if you’re drawing with Apple Pencil or even playing games. And how strong is that lip around the camera? What potential is there for damage? Will users essentially be forced into buying a case, thereby adding heft to the iPad and making its ‘thinness’ largely irrelevant?

However, as a writer interested in investigation and thought rather than screaming linkbait into the void, I have to concede that I simply don’t know what the right compromises are, except for me. Personally, I’d sooner see more storage at the low-end of every Apple line, and I’d prefer the new iPad to have a worse camera that’s flush with the unit. On Twitter, some people have told me they’re flabbergasted by Apple’s decision regarding the new iPad Pro’s camera, but then Perch lead developer Drew McLellan said “When I’ve personally seen an iPad used for work, it’s mainly been for that camera. And always with a case.”

Without the numbers, it’s impossible to know why Apple’s making the decisions that it is; and even with the numbers, you still wouldn’t be sure. Sometimes, these decisions are made on instinct or on the basis of trying to push devices into new areas of use. Even so, the notion of a wobbly iPad is enough for me to stop short of an immediate purchase, instead waiting until I can check one out in an Apple Store. Presumably, Apple thinks or knows my reluctance will be balanced by one or more people deciding Apple has made the right compromise — or them not caring about such compromises at all.