Before you make me punch you repeatedly in the face

1. US prices do not show taxes, but British ones do

Bitch, whine, moan. That pretty much sums up what spews out of many British mouths when comparing prices in the UK and USA. In some cases, our American chums do get it better, but often they don’t—it’s just British people being stupid.

Case in point: the new Apple MacBook line. “Wah wah wah,” have gone lots of Brits, in a Kevin-the-teenager-style emo tantrum, moaning how it’s so unfair that a $999 laptop in the USA costs £719 in Britain.

Here’s the thing: US prices are shown without taxes. Therefore, you have to compare with Britain’s ex-VAT rate. At the time of writing, the US price is about £575, meaning the UK price is a full 37 quid more. And given how much Sterling’s getting kicked on the markets right now, Apple’s actually been pretty good with its ‘internal’ exchange rate and built-in cushion.

So, for all you people bullsh*tting about how you can “fly over to the US and get a laptop and still have change for munchies”, just try it. See how far you get with your 37 quid. You’ll probably be dropped out of the plane before you get past Ireland.

2. Rinse and repeat

Go back and read point 1 until you actually understand it, and then stop whining about how expensive items are in the UK unless they actually cost significantly more (Hello, Adobe CS4!)

Another one from the archives, and perhaps my favourite: Why the new iMac sucks. This was published on the original version of Revert to Saved, way back in February 2002 (the ‘iMac’ in the article refers to the desk-lamp model), and met with an interesting response, almost taking down my web-hosting account, due to the number of hits it got.

The context of the piece was that, at the time, anything Apple did got slammed by lazy journalists, so I thought it would be fun to satirise this. Unfortunately, a rather large group of Mac users didn’t really understand the concept of satire.

While I’m well aware that Mac users can be sensitive, even I wasn’t expecting the deluge of email I got, including the prize gem “you are a biased computer nerd who cannot accept that most people don’t give a s—— about all the lame insider c—— that you talked about when you reviewed the imac [sic]” and helpfully finishing off with the wonderfully friendly line “you are an idiot and it makes me laugh”.

So, here’s the original article in all its glory—see if you can spot other things I got flamed for. This time, of course, no-one has any excuse for missing that this is satire, although I’ll bet I get at least one angry message from a militant Mac user who reads half the title and furiously fires off an email to me via their new USB-port-challenged MacBook Air.

A totally informed and unbiased account from our leading technical expert, Phil Clive Lover. ©ZealotDumbassNet.com

I watched the MacExpo webcast (and even bore the sickening player that is QuickTime—why Apple can’t use the excellent Windows Media Player like the rest of us is beyond me). I saw Steve Jobs strut around the stage like an over-excited chicken in his ‘oh so cool’ black sweater that made me want to vomit—twice. But then I cheered up, because he announced the ‘new iMac’ and I saw that Apple—so long a thorn in the side of proper PC users everywhere—is finally doomed.

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